Its a number but the bigger problem is the emotional baggage and damage that it leaves on a woman thats really hurtful to her partner, the man she ends up being with will have to deal with. On the other side, the woman may have fallen in love and had relationships of deep feeling for each of these partners. Please tell me what has changed at that point. I apologize if it seems I am implying that women who enjoy and have had many sex partners are simply victims of abuse. Heres me who was afraid to even chat with a woman online suddenly decides to get on a plane for 13hours and go meet her, we spent an amazing month together, best time of my life at the end of it for some reason I asked her, how many guys you been with her response was I lost cou- I mean I cant remember maybe 30. Now if the real reason you hold this against a woman is because you dont want to have to compete with the level of pleasure her past lovers provided, well you just need help then. Humans have emotions. If u had slept with a hundred men would u have wanted anyone to judge u? My wife has been much more sexually active than I have. EXACTLY and guess what: YOU ARE BEING JUDGED for having the wrong amount! Thats what alpha men do in the truest sense the word. For me I think that was the last straw I noticed myself, not eating, and being depressed I seeked out councelling and it was determined that this double standard, combined with verbal abuse over 9 years has made me clinically depressed..She has had councelling too now and is resolving all the damage previously caused by her previous encounters. As women and men i am very sure we have all made mistakes and hopefully learned from them as well. @NATASHAYOU ARE CORRECTIT DOESNT MAKEONE BETTER BUT IT DOES MAKE YOU WISER THAN THE GIRL WHO HAS BEEN WITH 100 PLUS PARTNERS. they are the last person to even go there! For example, if your first sexual experience is a violent one, pain could cause you to become numb sexually and emotionally. Sleeping with a lot of men, many of whom she may not know well, does make a woman a bad person, but it will certainly make her less desirable in the eyes of many men when they are choosing a mate. One of the men I sleep with wants to marry me and is very jealous. Love your post ur so real thanks dude not some fake that write stuff as if they are all dat holy. Like the article states you dont know why she chose to sleep with an individual or several. Not to sound like a cocky piece of shit or anything but I have a lot of positives about me and a lot going for me, a girl would be lucky to have me. How is she wrong for engaging in adult like activity with another consenting adult? Also, realize that the author is not talking about a woman whos been ridden like the town bike. This article is not about telling woman to do as they please or to promote promiscuity. Im careful, clean and single,,,and always manage pretty alright. Personally, I dont want to marry a woman who looks at sex like a man does, and acts the way a man does. The woman I started dating after college was the complete opposite. Either way we can just agree to disagree. But you would never have known looking at her. You never know. What happens to the guy that took a chance on her got his emotions wrapped up in her only to have them stomped on? I know that might scare you, so you are reacting defensively, but its just the truth. I am 31 years behavior about those numbers. Maybe you think yes, but I say no, and I say that the actual number should not be the true focus in evaluating a potential partner. Big breasts which are an indication of youth (because old ones sag), long hair which is a sign of health (because malnourished people have brittle hair that breaks off), hourglass figure, high cheek bones, and pouty lips (all signs of high estrogen or fertility). Thanks for your input man I appreciate it, ErmdudeI don't think you are in the best place to be with anyone right now tbh. It refers to a woman . In some round-about way it felt like it broke my heart, I dont really understand why, because past is past right? I'm having a lot of insecurity cause I'm getting involved in this thing with this girl who quite honestly by an objective metric is a slut. It matters. If your 30 and you had sex with 45 people, That scares me more than anything else. And i was the very faithful one by the way which meant nothing to that loser Ex wife of mine at one time. Sheila, the books you rever; Bible, Talmud, Quaran, where all written long before science and common sense were a regular commodity. If you are 30 and you had sex with 30 people, its hard to accept, to be selective in whom they chose for a mate. Sorry but it is a cutoff and a major factor in a potential mate. I still disagree with your overall position on the matter. I can understand your disagreement with people sleeping around. As a woman, if you are ashamed to reveal the number of partners you have had in your lifetimethen why should the male be ok with that? For 10 years I was her world, nobody else mattered to her ,we have 3 kids ,then she became a bar tender, I was out, another Guy with a bigger d*** was in, and I was scum. We have to be mature enough to accept people for who they are today in the same way in which we would want others to accept us. awesome line and I agree completely. I think most people say they dont judge but subconsciously do it by playing into these stereotypes or generalizations. pasts at all, dont have intense feelings for her. Having sex with your man . When they should love e themselves. Whatever. you may have some serious issues and I would say that its too many. No one wants to date a girl thats been ran through. breaker, find out the reason, spend time and get to know that person Or control and/or reduce the rejection that women are going to receive ? As long as you're both safe and clean, what's the harm? Instead of making the number of guys/gals she/he has been with a deal Fast forward to today, now you have a bunch of people who get married without knowing who they are, what they want, and who they think they deserve. I wouldn't stress it so much had I not have something to compare her to. Then she hit me with the old.Those men were before I met you, they should not matter, it is all in the past. N yes i am over my ex, and thats why i can accept the truth and it doesnt hurt. Either way u go science or religion pretty much states the same thing. As sad and hard as it seems its true discuss it. Who has moved. Past DOES matter. Including that her family knows of this. Yeah I had to read the article again lol the first time I read it, I guess it came of as promoting promiscuity. Im always honest with him about everything but this is the one thing Im taking to the grave. Not really. Thats deepmakes me feel foolish for rejecting some females because of my insecurity about their sexual past. If more women had respect for themselves and abstained from sleeping around there would not be any male sluts running around would there? sex with isnt an issue for either of us. What if I through a monkey wrench to your logic by saying that this said slut you speak of was forced into prostitution when she was young, and therefore slept with a lot of men? One called her a hoe. In this latest study, women who have had one partner instead of two are about 5 percentage points happier in their marriages, about on a par, Wolfinger says, with the boost that possessing a four . Women are yet to be seen as equals. I think if sexuality was embraced more instead of used as a marketing tool women wouldnt be ashamed or use sex for any other means. Because in each of our lives (male and female)we have had that hoeing moment. I feel if a man wants his ideal to have had less past partners than I have had, then there isnt a future between us. The funny part is research shows it has always been about the same, it was just that Women were able to hide it better. The Student Room and The Uni Guide are both part of The Student Room Group. But one thing is for sure, I definitely wont each my daughter to be like me! Not truly. I have those same tendencies, but as a female. Don't you think maybe someone with a little more experience could help you? Doesnt make it right, but remember, thats the flip side of a double standard. if you're concerned about self-destructive behavior, you need to actually understand what that is and isn't before you start judging people. If you cant provide a woman with certain things you will always leave the possibility of that relationship going in the wrong direction. Trust me when I say articles like this or similar positions on this issue are not the real issue when it comes to women acting like men. I will say though, that a persons past is their past and a more salient question is how many people have you slept with in the last year? or what is your attitude to sex right now?. Its more than you have. Yes, this is the incident Dave Chappelle mercilessly ridiculed on his Comedy Central show in 2003, but you have to remember there was a real 14-year-old girl in that video, according to her. Cool : ) yeah a topic such as this can easily lead to some misunderstandings but Im glad we cleared that up. Its not a try, its simply a fact. A guy friend of mine had to dump his first girlfriend in college because she kept pushing to get married and to settle down. Yoomy situation is differentthis girl actually wants me to wants on her till shes done having fun (sleeping around) too settle down with me..i thing thats disgustingand its not worth it. I have actually come Nothing wrong with knowing who she was with in the past, but understand and respect who she has become in the present. The wear and tear should be the same from sleeping with 100 different men as sleeping with one man 100 times. That is all we need to continue our happy lives. I haven't really said anything about this stuff to her and have been avoiding it like the fucking plague cause I don't want this toxicity to leak out. This post also feels like a way to almost look for what I want to hear i.e. An alpha may sleep with someone that sleeps around but we don't want to marry that. So with that, is nobody worthy of redemption or are we to judge people on their past and hold their previous mistakes over their heads forever? Some ladies go through the hoe stroll because they feel insecure (maybe no strong father presence, sexual abuse, etc) or because they truly love sex and they want it. Why can a man act one way, and be a male whore, but as soon as a women states anything in reference to men and sex, she is a whore? In choosing a partner for a relationship, matches up character and values is very important. toss out the American System of justice including the very notion of Everyone has different tastes. If you cannot admit how many partners you have had or feel like nobody has the right to know, especially your potential HUSBAND, then you are a joke of a woman, a lie and a fake. So in applying it to what you just said. I agree with you. It honestly is a question of a womans character. We all have pasts things we aren't proud of who she was isn't who she is. That doesnt define who you will be.. I have experienced half truths, stories with too many holes in them, and when I confronted her about the inconsistencies in her stories regarding her past lovers, she fabricated more lies. I am hopefull I hope your relationship benefits greatly from it. irrelevance of your girlfriend/wifes number of sexual partners is Women can sleep with men to get what they want and then dump them. Nobody likes for the woman they love to be viewed in that light. Like legitimately, tell me why it matters. Some of them are alright but it seems like some sleazy fucking dudes thrown into the mix. Most men dont want to marry a person who is in effect a man with a vagina. All I am saying in the article is that who she once was isnt always who she is now. I think it would be best for everybody to wait or minimize how many people they have sex with, but that does not change the fact that we should not judge a woman based on her past. Women have a rep to protect and as a woman doing that knows shes gon have a name for herself so why do that in tha first place if you gon ne ashamed about tha number? social fabric as a nation. On the other hand. I agree I have learned it had more to do with how I was raised,I am a better person today. Common sense. We put our best feet forward, so to speak. Thank you, Lord, for what you have done that we couldnt do for ourselves. I have NEVER met a secure, balanced, confident woman who could just have sex, get up, leave, and feel happy never seeing the person again. Yet a man can have sex with 50 women and ejaculate in all of them and expect at least 50 lives in a year and knows damn well hes the father backed by 50 women also saying so! After all, the past is the past, and none of us are perfect, and who are we to judge, right? I said it to get people to understand this isnt about having the women go out there and have sex with whoever they want. If any guy called me names like a whore or uses my past as a deal breaker It seriously takes two to tango and this double standard business needs to stop. I get sick of people looking at women thinking they are wrong for what they do when men are praised. But what about men? My guy has never even brought it up so thats how I know hes not insecure. Also women (and some men) get bored quickly these days. Would you rather a girl lie to you or tell you the truth? I just don't think hook-up culture will help me become the best version of myself. Men still are conscious of disease and do not want a woman who has been I do not expect anything from people. I dont know why I feel hurtas i said, I believe people have the right to do what they want. There is nothing worse than dating a women with weak will power! Having slept with others casually certainly doesn't mean that someone will cheat. I feel this is an unfair double standard and I refuse to judge them or cast a negative light upon them for their choice. The fact remains, the more partners a woman has had, the less likely her marriage(s) are to last. I Dont see it as passing judgement. The article is discussing why the specific number should not matter when a man is choosing his partner and the fact that the woman she is today is not always the same woman she once was. Me personally i do not sleep around and i am not going to lower my standards and try and act like a womans past has no bearing on her present let alone is not relevant. This is HILARIOUS from the perspective where people are making Judgment and the act of judging out to be a bad thing!!! I think a long period of live-in followed by a late marriage (girl around 32) would be effective insurance against separation in the future. Unfortunately partners that get stuck on whos done more dirty deeds than the other often have deeper insecurity issues than this topic could cover and the insecurities are fueled by the world around them. It shapes us. Masculine females attract more feminine guys in the relationship aspects. At times, those emotions cause us to make poor decisions. The Student Room and The Uni Guide are both part of The Student Room Group. As for the sinful lifestyle, if that person is no longer living that life (or even if they are) then is not judging them still wrong? Then on my 15th bday I was raped by someone I didnt even know was watching me as child. But sadly they werent. And some women need to go through experiences to become the best women they could be. And, if many guys were blatantly honest with themselves and others, they would probably admit to being more promiscuous than their significant others.
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