You're looking older but you can't be certain. Its hell and theres a lot of doubt in your thoughts like is it my fault, Im I the same, can I not make someone happy, am i insensitive. That sounds like my issue too. First two years went well. Imagine if you stay another couple years, get married, have children, then that person does the unspeakable after that? Things are never as simple as you think. It would be way worse, and if you leave, then the relationship wouldnt be as big of a crutch and she and you can move on and grow. 3. I Got a Secret (feat. My gf & I have been dating for only five months. This makes any conversion on other topics nearly impossible or difficult until her anxieties about her health are addressed. You are NOT responsible for the thoughts, feelings, or behaviors or others. Some times its okay but those are only the times when things are easy. You create your own reality. I feel im depressed, asking myself was actually our sexlife good becuase she was drinking, and that the person im with now has no interest in sex at all? Atlast I hate the word LOVE with cry. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you. It is not your role in this case. Cmon guys you know the drill. Im sorry for all of us that love was not enough. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use. It drove me to breakdown myself. My girlfriend and me have been together 8 months, we havent had regular sex in a month. I didt wanted help, I didnt wanted to tell people how sad I am (and that I dont know why) to anyone. Like i texted her after an hour or two and she read some of them. Day in or out, shell leave me broken again, I know it, just dont know when. Shawna Potter) Jim Ward. But I really just wanted to Thank You for your post. I feel really lost. It bothers me a lot and Ive done all I could to understand. She also will fail in it, many times, probably hurting you, but she will go on. You're so shallow. Even if you haven't done anything wrong, your partner has a way of making you feel bad. She says she feels okay when she clearly doesnt, when I give her a hug during this time, she tenses up, keeps shaking her head, and really hates herself for the way she is. my girlfriend has depression and is anorexic. she is unable to talk to you to achieve closeness because of all she had to deal with in her head so she compensate this lack of connection by wanting more sex (sex is expression of the highest level of acceptance and intimacy with other person after all and you dont have to talk during this action) and when you refuse, because of the depressed state and has low self-esteem that accompanies it, she treats it like rejection. Its bad and I feel so trapped. We all have to remain positive people. Some people need to just help themselves. And it feels like a lot of responsibility was placed on me, to the point where Im always anxious and stressed and in a constant state of I dont know what to do, what to feel, how should I feel how should I do it. I dont know what to do, I want to go out and do stuff, cant be potato couch forever. We dont really have many, if any, moments of romance anymore. I started to seek too much attention, because it felt finally a lille bit good to have this attention. I tried to break up with her but,she couldnt let me ago, how cant she,shes been saying were drifting apart were nothing you dont care about me just stop it.and now shes depressed,or think she is, and Im the one getting all the thoughts all the sadness. DUMP THE SAD GIRL OTHERWISE SHE WILL DRAG YOU DOWN. Most of her adult life was spent trying to stabilize from bipolarity. So I tried communicating a little more and making plans. Don't freak out if your goals are different. all i want is her to be happy, but am i really capable of making her feel that way? From then onwards,my girl friend got suffering from depression slowly.but I was not knowing that and she also didnt share anything to me. (Cue that sad trombone. I deserve happiness, everyone does! She talks about it so much now that I dont even get shocked anymore. She tried attempting suicide few times.Even I am loving her lot but could not make her understand.she always wants me to be around my arms! She still will randomly text me I love you! The odd time but the girl I felt secure with seems to have left her conscience. Ive been with my girl for over 4 months now, but we have been good friends for more than 7 years. Its gut wrenching. Shes gone to therapy, but currently not going. Shes fixates and ruminates on her health on a daily basis, and connects every ache and pain as a reflection of her perceived inability and shame around not taking care of herself, and thinks she cant trust her own mind. I dont mind being a caretaker.. but it has to be for someone who also cares about me. And I know hes going to hate me and say I dont understand. Medically reviewed by Jennifer Litner, PhD, LMFT, CST By Ash Fisher on June 10, 2021. In cases of chronic depression, it is very common for partners to begin to feel more like caretakers than anything else. If she needs the ex in her life she doesnt need you, she just wants you. 11 months ago I started dating my girlfriend and everything was amazing. I agreed but this has left me with nothing to do, leaving my friends was a massive mistake! How do I approach the situation without hurting her feelings/making her feel bad? If I go out without my phone I will find I have around 20-30 messages when I get back all telling me how selfish I am for ignoring her. I cant leave her though because she said she wouldnt be able to live if i left her. Try thinking back to those in hard times (or look at the older texts again like you do, I do that too haha). I have been dealing with a depressed girlfriend for the last 3 months. She no. Maybe she doesnt want to tell you how much she wants you to be with her because she doesnt want to appear needy. I have a feeling I might just kill myself if this goes on. And the woman that i am dating right now which i do hope that my relationship lasts with her since like i mentioned earlier i really do love her very much. He is also seeing a psychiatrist who has advised he doesnt work I am doing 3 jobs to pay for my divorce as he is going to go bankrupt with his business =- because he couldnt face going in to work except at lunch time. Im talking about Yeshua, the son of the God of Israel. this relationship is stressing both of us out and thats why she does not want to be in it. Im not talking about that Mexican guy that lives down the street. thanks for everyone comments! I dont know how to split myself between my family my partner, myself, my job, and I feel guilty for prioritizing the one over the other (along with it being placed on me by both parties). So its what you make of it. Or maybe it's because your partner is jealous, or mean, or absent. If you are tired or stressed I cant do sex. Since being in a relationship with her I feel like I've lost myself a little bit? And if an argument crops up, it almost always goes smoothly (i.e., no screaming, or blaming, or anything horrible like that). "Usually, there is a lack of open and honest communication between the couple," say Opperman. Tristen, Armand, sounds like your girlfriends have real life boyfriends too. When I have some me time to save my soul from drowning because of her, she said that I was selfish for leaving her for, like, a day! girlfriend is dragging me down I feel that my girlfriend is dragging me down and although she's happy in the relationship I'm not. Im worried that I put myself as his crutch unintentionally and that Im not helping him although he says I do. I dont know if it is a good thing to avoid that, I am almost sure it isnt. Everything i could say would create a problem and everything was my fault. If I talk in a neutral tone or raise my voice even slightly she says I am scary and becomes inconsolable. She has lost sleep all night, and so did I. Wow.. so many people with so many similar issues and I thought I was the only one! She clearly doesnt love you like one should love another person. 2. I looked it up. I dont want to leave her, as a friend she needs me more than anything, but I need to figure out a way to help us both (I know Im not going to fix her issues, but just being around saying the same thing over and over again like I love you or everything going to be okai doesnt seem like its doing anything at all. Before the depression she was great, and we saw each other very often. She has been alcoholic for 10 years. Please know there is hope, and help is available. Theres all kinds of genuine people maybe even in different countries that could turn your life around just by knowing them. Is it over? But, my girlfriends depression and self loathing is disgusting. deep thoughts in my head And they just keep dragging me down there down so deep Dragging me down so deep Dragging me down so deep Dragging me down so. It is your life too. I want so much to help her, but I feel like I have nothing else to give. You took a leap when you wrote in with your question. I get it, youre both on the brink every second that goes by and it feels like thats all there is and ever will be. My partner's negativity gets me down A happy, optimistic man is brought down by the relentless negativity of his partner. I was in shock but I have on other option than to fight. Smoking and drinking! We r loving since 5-6 years! If I ate a regular dinner I felt like it was a huge success. Im there for her and she knows it. If that person still doesnt change then it may be time to leave. Here are some ways this may happen. I am going through the same. All I could do is be the best boyfriend a girl could have. my health is declining. Buy she apparently can go on a day out with her ex to hang out behind her parents back.s he cant even do that for me?? My girlfriend has been depressed for a number of years, unable to shake feelings of sadness and hopelessness that carry over into almost every aspect of our life together. The envier. Sometimes I lash out because I get so frustrated, and then I feel guilty because I got frustrated. I have honoured her decision to sort this out alone. ), it can really start to drag you down. Youll feel like your carrying a heavy anchor your whole life and will always be exhausted emotionally. yesterday she said dating isnt working for either of us, the things that we need to change are things that cant chnange. Been experiencing something very similar in my relationship, I have been helping my girlfriend with her anxiety and depression for years as well and its been so long that often I feel down and hopeless too. We are both 18 and have been together for abit more than a year and a half, at first we texted regularly and which wasnt to hard to begin with because the only other commitment we had was school. "My problem is that since we have moved in together, she is negative about everything." My girlfriend and I have been together for three years. She keeps saying this like Im not a good person & I dont think Ill ever stop feeling this way I have given her reassurance, saying Im here for it through the good and bad, but fuck it seems like Im talking to a brick wall sometimes. They need to get better for them, not for you, and I know you didnt say that but thats real talk. Her aggression and fights are only there to tell you that she needs help, and help in this case is outside you two therapy, friends, new experiences. Karen S., a business executive in her late 20s, had been with her boyfriend eight months when she fell into a funk. And also you have to be a little tough, let her know that you understand and love (you can tell her that simply in words, she might not notice that your actions are supposed to tell it, it is also difference between sexes) her but dont be the hero here. Anyway, now we are almosr 3 yrs together and from the start of this year she finally admited being alcoholic and she started treatment process, with medications and therapy.
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