Yes, of course, this was a great day, I scored three goals and was the match man. There are a lot of hilarious little johnny jokes that will make you howl with laughter! I give you two, Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more.Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, Seven.The teacher says, Lets try it another way. Eat your lunch and go back to school. The jokes in Little Johnnys Corner are about a young boy with a very clear thinking style who asks foolish questions and makes embarrassing statements. 14. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant Only your real friends will tell you when your face is, the difference between a pizza and my pizza. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know you father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! You will definitely enjoy them. says, Mike. Little Johnny replied, Thats easy. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Mom? Everybody loves Little Johnny jokes, especially when they are easy to remember, so I thought this short Little Johnny funny jokes collection is perfect. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Funny Little Johnny Jokes Mom and Dad Will Love. Ill be right back., Thats better, but its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. Next joke The Bride Kissed Her Father And Placed Something In His Hand. His mother asks What on earth are you doing Johnny?Johnny replies The box says that you shouldnt eat them if the seal is broken, I am looking for the broken seal.Teacher: Little Johnny, you are late to class again.Johnny: But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn.Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him Johnny, where is your report card?Johnny replies sorry dad, I dont have it. I didnt even know your father was a detective.Hes not, says Johnny. No, no. said the teacher terrified. Mum was breathing heavy and kicking her legs all over the place..Then my dad asks me mum: Are you coming? Then my mum says, Yes Im coming, are you coming too? and my dad answered Yes.They dont usually go anywhere without me, so i said Wait for meLittle Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, Mommy, mommy, you wont believe it! Santa responds back, "Okay. It was like a peanut.The mom replies, Oh, it was small?Little Sally says, No, it was salty.Little Stefan comes in to school one morning wearing a brand new watch. She says to Johnny, What a cute costume, but let me ask you.Where are your buccaneers?Little Johnny says back, Theyre under my buckin hat lady.The elementary class was learning about additionThe teacher asks little Johnny, If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, Seven.The teacher says, No, lets try again. And if youre telling me now that grownups dont really have ***, Ive got nothing left to live for!, 6. Little Johnny said, Easy. Only before!Teacher: Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business?Johnny: In Vishakhapatnam.Teacher: How interesting. 150 Hilarious Little Johnny Jokes to Make You Laugh. "Yes," she replied. Ive got to stop and talk to this little boy. He got out, looked and said Son, that sure is a nice fire engine youve got there but, dont you think he would pull a little better if you had that rope tied around his neck instead of his balls? Johnny looked at him and said, Well, I guess hed pull better but, then I wouldnt have a siren!, 23. Little Suzy raises her hand. Ill give you a hint, said the teacher. Johnny says, Jesus is in my bathroom every morning. "Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's three and three." In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. That's when she hit me!" Quickly, dad tells him to leave.When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate.Then Johnny replies, But why does mommy have to deflate it when Ms. Jane next door just comes over every day to blow it back up?Little Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye.After a few days of this happening, the teacher became very worried and asked him about it.Johnnys answer was: Our house is very small Miss. No Maam, your thinking of blow job, and that's only two syllables. Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our funny posts. What did he say?He said, Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow. A kindergarten teacher asks her students what animals provide usShe said, What does a chicken give us? and the students replied, Eggs.She then asked, What does a pig give us? and the students replied a joyous Bacon.Finally she asked What does a cow give us? and before anyone could answer little Johnny said Homework.Little Johnny and a little girl are playing.Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, I have one of these and you dont.The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother.The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again.Once again Little Johnny points to his private parts and says, I have one of these and you dont.But this time the little girl just keeps on playing.How come youre not crying today, asks Little Johnny.My mother told me, says the little girl, pulling up her dress, that with one of these, I can get as many of those as I want.Little Johnny skipped school one dayand since his house was next to his school, the teacher decided to visit Little Johnnys parents the next day after school, but his granddad was the only adult home.When he saw the teacher coming he said Johnny! The best little Johnny jokes. In honor of Little Johnny, I put together a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy. Little Johnny says I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. At seven, you told me the truth about the tooth fairy, and at eight you stripped away my belief in Santa Claus. And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. And why is that?Little Johnny offers, Miss, its so we wouldnt wake all those people sleeping.Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?Little Johnny smiles proudly, No Miss, theres no need, my mom cooks really well.A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, Johnny, do you believe in the Devil?No, said Little Johnny knowledgeably. Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. Little Johnny Jokes Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. 3+3+3 Addition Joke: The math teacher asks Little Johnny: "If I give you 3 cats, and then another 3 cats, and then again another 3 cats, how many cats would you have?". One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Oh Pop, Johnny sobbed, For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. Classic Dirty Little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 564K subscribers Subscribe 2.6K 100K views 2 years ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.. Little Johnny complains to mom at home, Mom, our teacher really doesnt know anything. ?He replied, I saw a great TV ad. While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. In one post, it would be impossible to put all the jokes about little Johnny together. I know its my daddy., When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. The first one says, "My daddy is so cool he can eat four burgers at one meal." . Boss : "Little Johnny, I saw you arguing with the customer that just left. Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" Little Johnny asks, Do you know what I think? Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? Ones blue, but the other is green. We just have the same pets.Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday.During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home.He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?The teacher asked the class how they spell the word elephant.Little Johnny raised his hand and said, E-L-E-F-A-N-T.When the teacher said that its wrong, he said, Well, it may be wrong, but thats how I spell it.The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid.Johnny groaned before standing. Little Johnny came home from school to see the familys pet rooster dead in the front yard. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. Next Joke . Mom to his kid: Johnny, you come dirty from football. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?, A teacher asks her class, What do you want to be when you grow up?. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. He asked why Johnny was digging such a deep hole.Johnny said, It had to be! Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework.During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert?Johnny replies: I got a ticket from my sister.The friend asks: And where is your sister?Johnny says: Back at home, looking for her ticket.Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours.He asked his parents where they got him from.They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven.Johnny said, Jeez. Much love and heres to an amazing 2021.https://youtube.com/channel/UCJlpNLY2NmXRzLM2cWP2FdAMy link treehttps://linktr.ee/Jeremy_LittelA compilation of little Johnny jokes Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four.Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not.Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! Would anyone else like to try?Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer.Our mean next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious.In the class the teacher said: the first person to answer my question will go home early.Little Johnny threw his bag outside.Teacher asked: Whose bag is that?? Then the teacher asked April a third question, What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?. His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" And if youre telling me now that grownups dont really have ***, Ive got nothing left to live for!At school, Little Johnnys classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so its very easy to blackmail them by saying, I know the whole truth.Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.Johnnys mother greets him at home, and he tells her, I know the whole truth.His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, Just dont tell your father.Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, I know the whole truth.The father promptly hands him $40 and says, Please dont say a word to your mother.Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door.The boy greets him by saying, I know the whole truth. The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. Boss : "So what were you arguing about with that customer?" What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Sally was sleeping in front of johnny.The teacher asks Sally who our Lord and savior was. Johnnys mother greets him at home, and he tells her, I know the whole truth. His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, Just dont tell your father. Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, I know the whole truth. The father promptly hands him $40 and says, Please dont say a word to your mother. Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says, "Mrs. And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Little Johnny decided to dress up as a pirate for Halloween.When he went trick-or-treating, one of the adults asked him, Where are your buccaneers?Johnny whispered, Theyre under my buckin eye patch.When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". Johnny asked his mother for his allowance a few days early. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. I see why they kicked him out of there.. The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. ", Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. I am the ninth letter.. Thousands of clean and dirty 70 Funny Sleep Jokes That Wont Make You Drowsy, 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor Short dirty jokes might come in handy when you have nothing to do and want to ask acquaintances or close ones who share your thoughts. She says to the children Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now.After a little while Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him why did you stand up Johnny? Next - 25 Little Johnny Jokes. These Little Johnny Teacher jokes will make you laugh hard! See you in the Email! I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. Most of his jokes involve a female counterpart. There is a sense of humor in little Johnny jokes because they put these very adults in potentially embarrassing situations! The smile looks really good on you. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?, Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! Your email address will not be published. In the morning, Johnny, Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly. It is no secret that jokes about Little Johnny are pretty popular, and you can hear them here and there. But April didnt even stir from her slumber. Little Johnny: "Yes sir"! Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. Johnny poked her in the ass again with a pin and she screams my god! And falls back to sleep.Later the teacher asks Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fourth child. "; the teacher asked April. While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. ?Johnny answered: Its mine.bye bye!The teacher came up to Johnnys desk and asked can you tell me what separates you from a monkey.Johnny said with confidence the desk.Teacher: Anyone who thinks hes stupid may stand up!Nobody stands up.Teacher: Im sure there are some stupid students over here! I see why they kicked him out of there.Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?Johnny: One dollar.Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic.Johnny: And you dont know my father!Teacher: If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one, how many are left?Johnny: None.Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic.Johnny: You dont know birds. He was a paratrooper.A paratrooper? Asked the teacher, who was awed.Yes, please look closer you can see his jump badge.Second was Joe. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.Teacher: Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?Johnny: No miss, my mother is a really good cook.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him Johnny, where is your report card?Johnny replies sorry dad, I dont have it.His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.. This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation.When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important?The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know.He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out.Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately.There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime.Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him.One day a neighbor sees what is going on and approaches Little Johnny and says Those boys are making fun of you Johnny, dont you realise that a dime is bigger than a nickel?Johnny smiles and says Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.This happened with my great uncle and young cousin for years.He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin.Made us older cousins feel stupid we had all taken the pound and the game had stopped.Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?The teacher is shocked. Little Johnny responds: "ten.". Before they left their house, Little Johnnys dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the babys missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the babys lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says Wow, what a beautiful baby. The mother replies, Why, Thanks Johnny. Johnny says: He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. He was a, What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? I am the ninth letter.One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone.They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. Do you know who created Little Johnny jokes? This is my only account so please make sure to smash that subscribe button! Little Johnny: "Yes sir!, the customer is always right". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says " I know a four syllable word, pick me.." Jenny immediately says, I want a watch.The dad sighs and says, Alright, but go and stand in the corner and dont make any noise. Ok, fine, Johnny, she said reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny said. 6. You put your head in a cube and the scissors cut whatever hairstyle you wish.Mom: But how would that work, Johnny? Dirty Little Johnny. "Well," Johnny replied, "Don't fuck with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking. I reached over and pulled it out. Do you really think you are stupid?Johnny replies No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnnys teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child.