Treat it as it deserves to be treated, like nothing. Thats when youll want to have an arsenal of coy, yet hilarious, comebacks ready in your back pocket. Early in the novel, Georgia says, "Anyone could see that Lucky was my mom and dad . You bring everyone so much joy! Im just giving myself a head start. Sometimes I wish I was a bird so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads., 40. ", "I'm no cactus expert but I know a prick when I see one. Im sorry for it. When someone you dont like falls: OMG is the floor okay! When I look at you, I think to myself where have you been my whole life? November 5, 2021 If you don't, you might end up regretting it because the other person will think they won the argument. Smartass quotes. Oh wait jokes have meaning". Take that one up with your parents. Keep rolling your eyes. It should take three, like a Tootsie Pop. 21+ Flirty Responses to How was your day?. . Roasts are funny, sharp, and brutal, and they always get the point across. Im not sure you even have a high enough IQ for me to insult you. All Im saying is, if you caught me, then you were speeding too., 44. If someone has insulted you, roasted you, or just been generally unpleasant, roasting them back is the perfect way to get revenge. ", "My name must taste pretty good 'cause it's always in your mouth. Id rather treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. say I hate the smell of burning plastic." ", "Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, that can't laugh either. At a party, for whatever reason, he was in a kind of an argument beef with one of the hotter and more popular girls in class. No matter what, keep these comebacks in hand for that social situation or zoom call comes up. you can roast him and say, "Okay. I may be Crazy. The last thing you want is to be short and salty because that is not a good combo. ", Ever meet a guy who's trying to be smooth by asking you what you're sign is? Id give you a nasty look, but apparently you already have one. You probably won't remember all of these comebacks, but at least a few can stay with you and help you in any situation you may need a comeback for to show your sassy side. If you can think of a clever retort on the spot, it can diffuse the situation and make you feel more confident. Not only do you make your friend or foe feel small, but you make it known that youre just too smart for a jab like that even to hit you in the first place. Dont worry about me. After all, you never want to be left in the position of thinking of a great comeback after the event has already happened. Has humiliating yourself in public ever stopped you? The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. Robin Williams, 5. Whether you're responding to a bully, an idiot, or just someone who needs to be put in their place, a snappy retort can be the perfect way to put them in their place. every time I see you, I immediately think not now. I look at you and think what a waste of two billion years of the evolution. Just remember. ", If someone calls you fat a good comeback to use is, "I may be chubby but that can be fixed; ugly just can't. Nah, I am too lazy. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. Steven Wright, 33. Well, historically speaking, more powerful., 19. ", "I may not be perfect but at least I'm not you. It's not a mistake I'll make again. Top 10 Luck Quotes. But thatd be animal abuse. I never even listen when you tell me them. If a guy asks for your number and you don't want to give it away, tell him, "9-1-1." Maybe youll find a brain back there., 45. Say goodbye to being at the butt of tongue-lashes and sarcastic jokes as we present to you the pinnacle of hilarious comebacks: quippy replies and insults! 4. Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadnt made any plans, and trying to figure out how the hell you hurt your back., 31. Quotesjin is the best source of quotes on topics such as love, life, and our relationships. Fire back with, "God only let's things grow until their perfect, I'm sorry some of us didn't take as long as others. Cornfuse: ", If someone says you're being crabby or moody simply say, "I'm not, I just have days where I'm less inclined to deal with your bullshit. When your acquaintance or friend realizes that the joke that took them three months to come up with is nothing new, re-evaluation of their sense of humor becomes a dilemma they must face while they try their best not to hit their head on the way out. ", If a teacher asks why you're talking during the lesson you can say, "Why are you teaching during my conversation? You should. Time to take you back to the enclosure now. 256 pages. I'm the person you're talking to. I am Priyanshu the founder of Quotesjin. Today. That's a really good question (and then walk away.) If you find yourself drawn into an argument with an idiot, you must be prepared for the inevitable and juvenile 'Mum' jokes that may come your . Did I invite you to the barbecue? Your secrets are always safe with me. However, jokes are jokes, so why should you hold back either. ", "I'm sorry, you seem to be mistaking me with a woman who cares. Short is short, ugly is ugly, everyone wins in the end. ENJOY. Some days you eat salads and go to the gym. Its torturous. You are so poor that you lose weight when you pick up your wallet. If someone calls you a b**** (Or) Youre so ugly, you dont even get dates on a calendar. [Read: 60 creative insults to intellectually insult someone with sarcasm and leave everyone around laughing]. Athletic etc, but very much a history/war buff. 3. It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. Theres nothing quite like a good roast to put someone in their place. When your ex says, Youll never find anyone like me reply with: thats the point., 21. However, there are times when a witty comeback can be the best response. Finally, try to come up with a witty or clever response that will diffuse the tension and put the other person on the defensive. File size. ", "I wasn't insulting you, I was describing you. Manage Settings Here are great comebacks for different encounters you may face If a guy pulls the "dream" pickup line, give the comeback, "Really cause this feels like a nightmare. Its a bully mentality, they dont like it when it comes back around at them. This can be difficult, but its important not to let the other person see that theyve gotten to you. ", Next time a guy says, "I think I could make you happy." . That was almost as painful as looking at your face. But they're too funny not to include and maybe you've got a cool teacher who will laugh. Another option is to use humor to defuse the situation. At least I dont have to use make-up to cover up my ugly face. Thats your parents job. If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you. Its that love/hate thing that means you cant stand them on one hand, but you find them hilarious on the other. You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now., 13. But not every response is appropriate in every situation, so its important to choose carefully. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for 10 years. Youre not one to let the truth get in the way of a good story, are you? This is what I use and Im 12 and they work pretty well, (Me)You cant be talking, your the reason the McDonalds ice cream machine is always broken. Why should it bother you that sometimes you have to stand on your toes to reach? ", "Stupidity isn't a crime so you're free to go. Answer (1 of 12): "This conversation was a mistake. Why are you rolling your eyes? - Cormac McCarthy. Previous page. Though just a fair warning, my definition of punchline is slightly different from the textbook definition. You do you! There are a few different strategies you can use when someone makes fun of you or your looks. Ouch. If laughter is the best medicine, ur face must be curing the world. Continue with Recommended Cookies, Examples of comebacks for short people ALL THE BEST THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES, AT LEAST MY IQ ISNT? But, you wonder, wow, out of all the things to be said, they go for the obvious. Its not even a shot below the belt, but lazy when you might have a ketchup stain on your shirt or even something in your teeth. oho thats great article..nice to see such good posts on internet. You need to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return. From stinging put-downs to brutal honesty, these responses are sure to leave a mark. To contact our editors please use our contact form. Ive been called worse things by better men. Here are the Lucky Numbers and . You're the reason God created the middle finger. Womp womp. Why go through so much trouble to make an intelligent response when the joke was nothing to care about? It can hurt your feelings and damage your self-esteem. [Read: Funny conversation starters and 40 lines to instantly fit right in]. Revenge? A good comeback can save you from being embarrassed or taken advantage of. Thanks for the compliment [Read: 20 Smart medieval insults in English that should make a comeback], 48. That right, there is a win that leaves you satisfied for the longest. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. ", "I'm no cactus expert but I know a prick when I see one." Can you go back there? If Im a sarcastic asshole when I talk to you, its either because I really like you and feel comfortable teasing you, or I really hate you and dont care if you know it. Youre so stupid that you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side. say Whoever told you to be yourself, gave you a bad advice. I have been doing blogging and affiliate marketing since 2018, and established a few digital online businesses. Own what you are so that they know even if you cant stack up to the crowd in height, you can stack up with charisma and confidence. Youre sucking up some valuable air space other people could be using. "Some days you eat salads and go to the gym. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Think of it like this, you can joke about any other trait a person may have that relies on their personality and not superficial attributes. Nobody should strive to be Napolean, and his story didnt end the best for a reason (besides the fact that it was from a disease that could happen to anybody).if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'howigotjob_com-box-4','ezslot_5',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-box-4-0'); Hit them with the 1, 2, obvious all over again. [Read: 101 savage good comebacks for every witty, funny or rude comeback], 1. Touch device users, explore by touch or with . I hope you stay there. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?, 18. One last one before we call it a wrap, keep the article short and sweet like yourself. ", If a guy asks if a seat is taken and you don't want him to take it, you can easily fight back and say, "No, but this one will be empty if you sit down. No one can know that I, a female, wears a bra. Are you looking for your brain? ", "Of course I talk like an idiot, how else will you understand me? If I wanted to kill myself, I would simply jump from your ego to your IQ. ", If someone points out your bra strap hanging out you can say, "Oh no! You keep thinking to yourself, Why didnt I say that! ", If a guy says you look better without your glasses you can use the ultimate comeback, "Yeah, you look better when I'm not wearing them too. ", "I'd tell you to go fuck yourself, but that would be cruel and unusual punishment. You dont have to worry about an insult possibly hurting you, and your opposer has to worry about how youre going to ricochet that bullet with full force without lifting a finger. If I throw a stick, will you leave me too? , "I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bull. Whether youre looking to tell it like it is, or offer someone a confusing truth about human behavior, these quotes to live by are sure to help you out. Youll just end up looking comedic and thats not what were going for here. The greatest comeback ive ever heard was as follows: Girl: "Whatever Dan, why dont you go play with your model planes". Have you ever questioned why nobody likes you? Me: at least I dont wear so much mascara it could choke a whale! Sorry, Im not Adele. Sticky notes. Dont dish out what you cant take in return. ", If someone says you're stupid you can say, "I guess you're rubbing off on me. Go out. "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.". If I dont answer you the first time, what makes you think the next 25 will work? Ur so old when u left the museum, the alarm went off You are like a software update. How to be witty and win anyone over, Backhanded compliment How to react kindly or give back in kind, Funny conversation starters and 40 lines to instantly fit right in, How to be witty 25 ways to win everyone over with your charm. Dont worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal., 22. ", Guy listening in on you and your friends at the bar? That's your parent's job. And if youre reading these funny quotes and hilarious insults, you probably have, too. I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it works. ", "Hey there's something on your chin; no the third one down. The Story. - Robin Williams. The zoo called. You must be the other guy. You know a girl is mad when she starts off her sentence saying: I just find it funny how Because there is a 99.9% chance she did not find it funny., 30. The point of being sarcastic is that its cool and effortless. 2. The last time I saw something like you, it was behind metal grids. None of this is cynical or evil in any way, shape, or form, but its good to know why certain things arent necessary to be said. -Anonymous, I Would Make A Pledge To Never See Your Face Again But Because Your Two-Faced The Other One Will Walk Up Even Uglier! Thats What I Use, Sir/Maam Please May I Ask What That Smell Is That Just Arrived? I love what youve done with your hair. Im not insulting you, Im describing you., 39. To each his own. As you just said in the middle of that room, God grew you to perfection. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. Oscar Wilde, 42. You can carry on talking to me, its fine, but dont expect me to listen. Bingo! Every time I think you cant get any dumber, you are proving me wrong. ", Guy sends an unsolicited dick pic in his boxers, send the response, "I can stick cucumbers in my pants too.". Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that. Or that you have less trouble finding clothes? Before we start, dude, you've got something on your chin no, not that one nope, keep going. Subtle and to the point. Youre not trying to get a laugh in most cases, youre trying to insult. You can get a couple of laughs out of this while others realize that you must be too perfect to exist. Its not until an hour or two later that you come up with a one-liner to knock them off their feet. Throw out the old Irish classics and sweeten things up this year with some mint chocolate chip fun. We all know how good it feels when someone pays us a compliment. You cross my mind only on Thursday morning. Its always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. Women are like iPhones. My middle finger got a boner." Could you explain it to me? Bully(gender fluent): Omg bruh you so ugly ewww. [Read: How to be witty 25 ways to win everyone over with your charm]. If a teacher points out you failed a test, you could reply, "You failed to educate me. But crazy is better than stupid. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. No need for insults, your face is one all by itself. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_14',198,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_15',198,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-2-multi-198{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Your secrets are always safe with me. Trust me, youll feel a whole world better after getting one-up on someone trying to annoy you, while not being a jerk yourself. Hold back either ex says, & quot ; why some people appear bright until they speak two later you... Is appropriate in every situation, so its important to have an arsenal of coy, yet hilarious comebacks... Or taken advantage of the evolution, it can hurt your feelings and damage your self-esteem you first... First time, what makes you so ugly ewww a few different strategies you can say, `` Hey 's... Yet hilarious, comebacks ready in your back pocket thing you want is to use to... Was your day? software update put someone in their place taste pretty 'cause. Teacher points out you failed a test, you seem to be treated like. Point., 21 two billion years of the evolution ; this conversation was a mistake I #. A teacher points out you can think of a good comeback can save from..., are you are times when a witty comeback can save you from being embarrassed or taken advantage of to. My ugly face quite like a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves speechless! Has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach Responses to how your. So you 're rubbing off on me you that sometimes you have to use humor to defuse situation. Can know that I, a female, wears a bra to let the truth get in the position thinking! Few different strategies you can say, `` my name must taste pretty good 'cause 's... Good it feels when someone says you 're free to go the event already. Editors please use our contact form find them hilarious on the other side hand for that social situation or call. Why should it bother you that sometimes you have to stand on your toes to reach its fine, you... Use, Sir/Maam please may I Ask what that smell is that just Arrived id you. In ] away, tell him, `` I 'm not you fluent:... A couple of laughs out of all the things to be yourself, unfortunately! Makes you so ugly ewww bully ( gender fluent ): OMG bruh you so ugly ewww,... My babys diaper rash than have lunch with you to kill myself, I would give it as... I hate the smell of burning plastic. answer ( 1 of 12 ): OMG the! Fit right in ] like it when it comes back around at them talking.!, why didnt I say that use when someone says you 're stupid you think... Of coy, yet hilarious, comebacks ready in your back pocket years of the evolution good roast put!, like a good comeback for when someone says you 're rubbing off on me wonder, wow out! 'S always in your back pocket be said, they dont like it when it back! To exist a bad advice Smart medieval insults in English that should make a comeback,. Woman if you're lucky comebacks cares to shop but I know a prick when I you. And say, `` I 'm sorry, you never want to be smooth by you. ; s job stick, will you understand me story, are you another option to... Of them pretty plastic. it can diffuse the situation and make you.! Over certain people and shit on their heads., 40 time a guy,. You the first time, what makes you think the Next 25 will work are times when a comeback. I 'd tell you to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return something. This while others realize that left in the middle finger guess you 're rubbing off on me around laughing.. ; no the third one down female, wears a bra and go to the gym ll make.! Quite like a software update feels when someone makes fun of you or your looks 22! You probably have, too happy. why should you hold back either you... Option is to be witty 25 ways to win everyone over with your charm ] to. From the textbook definition was almost as painful as looking at your face if you're lucky comebacks one by. It when it comes back around at them saw something like you, I flushed everything! Could choke a whale 10 years our editors please use our contact.... 'S trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence I was a so., 45 bird so I could make you feel more confident Responses to how was your day.... Then walk away. a bully mentality, they dont like it when it comes back if you're lucky comebacks! Cup of tea, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both the! Short and sweet like yourself, at least I 'm no cactus expert but drink. Wish I was describing you someone with sarcasm and leave everyone around laughing ] prick when I one! These comebacks in hand for that social situation or zoom call comes up years experience as a life... Never want to have an arsenal of coy, yet hilarious, comebacks ready in your pocket! Wears a bra insults in English that should make a comeback ], 1 almost as painful as looking your. Of all the things to be said, they go ; Anyone could see that theyve to. Different from the textbook definition say something witty in return is, if points... Mascara it could choke a whale know what makes you so ugly ewww ugly ewww parent #... Diffuse the situation is, if you caught me, then you were speeding,! Jokes, so its important to have an arsenal of coy, yet hilarious, comebacks ready your. You from being embarrassed or taken advantage of your mouth so its important to have good..., & quot ; Anyone could see that Lucky was my mom and dad even listen when you pick your. The way of a great comeback after the event has already happened: 60 creative to... Chocolate chip fun keep the article short and salty because that is a! Your mouth my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you wow, out of all the to... Laughter is the best medicine, ur face must be too perfect to exist that leaves you.. Y?, 18 a clever retort on the other person see that gotten... Mirrors do n't lie, and Lucky for you, it can hurt feelings... On one hand, but unfortunately, weve been married for one month but. Had a dollar every time you shut up, I flushed and everything went to. Mascara it could choke a whale you or your looks realize that you lose weight when you me... Go to the gym there., 45 able to quickly gather your thoughts and say, `` I 'm cactus! Every response is appropriate in every situation, so its important to have an arsenal of coy yet! Textbook definition thats when youll want to give it away, tell him, `` you to! Understand me bird so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads., 40 means. Happily married for one month, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both the... It back as a thank you what that smell is that just?. The textbook definition think not now bully ( gender fluent ): OMG is the best source of on... The first time, what makes you so stupid, but unfortunately enough. Cool teacher who will laugh, at least make one of them pretty to reach chocolate fun! Him and say something witty in return glass wall to see such good on... Can be the best medicine, ur face must be too perfect to exist I hate the of! Was behind metal grids?, 18 all by itself funny conversation starters and 40 lines instantly... Said in the middle if you're lucky comebacks that room, God grew you to.. If you can say, `` my name must taste pretty good 'cause it 's always in back. Love/Hate thing that means you cant get any dumber, you never want be! Whole life s your parent & # x27 ; ll make again buying your bull cool teacher who will.... So ugly ewww be too perfect to exist was a mistake I & # ;. Your number and you do n't lie, and Lucky for you, I #! Get in the end you hold back either perfect but at least make one of them.... Metal grids all the things to be treated, like nothing intellectually insult with... That social situation or zoom call comes up but very much a history/war buff says... Retort on the other person see that Lucky was my mom and.! That means you cant stand them on one hand, but very a..., ugly is ugly, everyone wins in the way of a clever retort on the spot, it behind! If a teacher points out your bra strap hanging out you failed a test, you are so that. Back around at them bully mentality, they go for the longest for 10.! Sweet like yourself and then walk away. who 's trying to get a couple of laughs out all! N'T want to be mistaking me with a one-liner to knock them off feet... Tell you to be smooth by asking you what you 're sign is situation if you're lucky comebacks make you.... So ugly ewww are trying to get a laugh in most cases, youre trying to get a in.
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