Thank you for making this a national bestseller! I got this tonight. Hes like, Burn all the lamps. And I feel for the guy working there. 3. Thank you, thank you scrapsfromtheloft for giving me wonderful information, Your email address will not be published. I go right to Google. Where are they? Hes like, Theyre walking around Walgreens. Hilarious standup comedian Sebastian Maniscalco is returning to Las Vegas for a handful of shows throughout 2023, and tickets for every one of them are on sale now! Its hard, okay? What do you know? Hes like, Im gonna write you a prescription to get some lotion. But I was in the human line, Im sitting there. They sit there in a 90 degree angle. And I dunno if its for the better. A post shared by Sebastian Maniscalco (@sebastiancomedy) on Nov 15, 2018 at 5:35pm PST, When I started out, my goal was to simply make a living from doing comedy, Maniscalco wrote on Instagram. See Sebastian Maniscalco live at Encore Theatre At Wynn! It would bother me that people assumed they could just waltz in and hang out.as if I didn't have . Look at how big his head is. Encore Theater at Wynn Las Vegas - Las Vegas, NV. All those kids are winners out there. Right here, Hes got gonorrhea! Every time you come outta the pharmacy theres always a homeless guy there. They got cameras, theyre looking at me! Its not Walmart, its a shit sale. Its me and three other people. What, did you forget he died? This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. Whats your name? Youre like, Shit, I gotta go change it. About a year now. You just opened up the door. So a lot of the show is just taking the audience through things like the entire experience of going to a sit-down dinner with my wife and her family and all the things that annoy me., ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------. Don't miss his hilarious new material live at the Encore Theatre at Wynn or the Borgata Events Center. Oh, God! This is where you would have to have a little personality. Im like, What the Its scary, man, right? With Nintendo and Illumination's Super Mario Bros. Movie releasing soon, many of us are eager to find out when we can get our butts into cinemas to check out Mario's first feature-length animated movie.. People will then begin to pitch in what they think they owe. Like, I cant dance to this. You invite anybody over? There was always that person upstairs that didnt hear the bell. The ink would bleed a little bit. Hi, were the Gibsons. This Sebastian Maniscalco Las Vegas shows are your chance to see his "Nobody Does This" Tour, a gut-busting set of observational humor about life and family during the pandemic. - Sebastian Maniscalco. https://www.youtube.com/user/sebastiancomedy1. Yay! You ever get this family, they gotta complain to the coach? A lot of women sit there and watch it on ESPN or CNN, theyre like, Can you believe what hes doing? Guy would have enough confidence to pick out the one he wanted and ask her to dance. This whole thing is a scam. I'm honored to be @billboard's inaugural Comedian of the Year. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Get the hell off my property! If that person has any class theyre like, Please, come on on. Can I approach? But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. I know youre 48, you probably cant have kids anymore. Now comes word the man the New York Times calls "America's hottest comic" has extended the initial run adding 20 more dates in 2020 across the U.S. and Canada. Italians do it a lot different than most people when it comes to weddings, okay? Starring: Sebastian Maniscalco. They always gotta go back, get shading. After being the butt of her husband's . - An exception will be made for medically necessary items after proper inspection at designated entrances specifically for this purpose. Musicians that created something, an image, a costume. I watch how a woman eats, this is a huge deal-breaker for me, okay? Im honored to be @billboards inaugural Comedian of the Year. Can you believe this? A lotta guys have to sit there and act, What? Now your doorbell rings? Hi, Im sorry. And the weirdest people would show up to your home. You lunge but you dont touch it! Is that lace around your wrist? I got plastic this time, right? The problem I had is she then took a piece of bread and did a sponge job. They guy today had an amazing approach. I go, Why would I walk around? Hes like, Theres people ahead of you. When youre out just, just keep. The man the. , Its a weird, weird culture out there, man. I said, Read it back. Manufacturer : Sebastian Maniscalco tee. Theres no single guys at the clinic. Theyre trained. Its gonna creep around my back, the rattles gonna tickle my nipple, and on my nipple its gonna say Dad rest in peace, you know? What the hell are you doing to yourself? Its a sandwich. Thats how we did it. And Im glad you guys came out tonight to watch some live entertainment, because I dont even know what theyre giving you on television. If you wanna walk around Walgreens, about another 25 minutes. Theres not single guys banging on the door. Yeah. You gotta dummy it down. Weird stuff are happening in these huts. The guys up there, its simple, Name. Again, I never wanna be the problem, okay? Get in the closet. Sebastian Maniscalco: You Bother Me Fri Aug 27, 2021 7:00pm . Do you see that? I said, You gotta click that twice. Go to the club, they got, everybodys gotta tattoo now. My doorbell rang. They gotta show it off because theres like an emotional meaning behind it, right? They came to the first game. You walk in, you see him, youre like, Oh, God! For years, I swear to God, I thought people were making medication in the back room. And what theyre gonna do, theyre gonna log the amount and the name in of everybody that came to the wedding, right? Go get me one glove. What the hell are you? One, you get nothing. Is it a Presario? Thats okay. Gotta sit there and listen to this all day. Sebastian Maniscalco. Billboard. Its weird, this Craigslist. I got two feet of snow outside. What do you come back with? But you never question the pharmacist. It looked like somebody took a shotgun and blew a hole through his ear and then they put magnets in his earlobe. Americas fastest rising comedy star Sebastian Maniscalco will blow the roof off the house in a LIVE and UNCENSORED hour of stand-up from New Yorks Gotham Comedy Club. Some guys get stupid with it, right? . They put me in the back, Go in the basement. Take it outta the bag! Youre like, Im here. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. And given the acclaim he's received, you know the best tickets will sell out fast! Now, I dunno if anybodys ever taught anybody the internet over the phone. This website is operated by a ticket broker.Ticket prices are set by third-party sellers and may be above or below face value.We are not affiliated with nor endorsed by Sebastian Maniscalco. I go, No, theyre not. With topics ranging from tight rompers to ugly bras to why every man needs a box spring, Iliza remains the hilarious, affecting voice of her generation. She flirts right back, shes like, Oh, sorry. Sebastian Maniscalco is making residency stops in Las Vegas and Atlantic City for his 'Nobody Does This' Tour, and tickets for all datesare on-sale now. As we pass, we lose it. You cant go to bed at night without putting a face to that miles prowl. Dont we have any dumb kids anymore? Thats the next step. Theres no arguments, everythings adorable. Currently on the road for his new Nobody Does This Tour, the man Vulture said, "built a tremendous fan base the old-fashioned way: one joke at a time, one audience at the time," announces over 15 arena dates for the second leg of . Were at Sears! It dont work that way! And how, I base it on how they approach me. My father wants to get involved with it. I didnt grow up this way. Just a look of confusion, bewilderment. We put some signs all over town with an arrow, Come get our garbage. I just got the green tea. Hes like, I cant do it! Thank you so much. We put it in an envelope, sometimes theres not even a card, theres just cash with a post-it note, Congrats. They slid up to the door. Theyre not moving, right? My father would negotiate prices at Sears. Now, the person is right here. I have a medical condition. Yeah, my doors always open. Japanese people, well-mannered people. A post shared by Sebastian Maniscalco (@sebastiancomedy) on Nov 13, 2018 at 5:08pm PST. In 2019, Maniscalco starred in The Irishman as Joseph Crazy Joe Gallo. Is that your mother with a sword? Now, the groom takes out a black log book. You wanna dance with me? And shed turn around, shed be like, Yeah, Ill dance with you. Address. Some idiot from Montana singing a song in his t-shirt with his entire family in the front row telling America to vote, Vote! Sebastian Maniscalco Live From Vegas. I got pipes, I got pipes! How old is your computer that you still have the pipe screensaver? And it says, on the floor, For the privacy of the person in front of you, please stand behind the line. If you do, you have to call from the driveway. Im able to take on projects Im passionate about, just do really quality stuffIm fortunate to be in a position where I can really calculate what Im doing and not spread myself too thin.. Taped after his four-show sold-out streak at Madison Square Garden when no one really knew his name, Maniscalco nailed his own Netflix comedy special in 2019, bearing the same name as his book. But as you pass, you cant let this go. Youre embarrassing yourself. Nobody knows whats going on. I come from an Italian family. Tickets for You Bother Me tour dates will go on sale to the general public on Friday, April 26 beginning at 10:00 am local time. Fresh off a wildly successful, two-year-plus run on his Stay Hungry Tour, Billboard's 2018 Comedian of the Year Sebastian Maniscalco returned this month with his new You Bother Me tour. Ill give you a dollar. Just keep it moving. Size two boots. Gotta stop often to cool off. Anytime any of this stuff happens, it ignites conversation in house between men and women, right? According to his website, Stay Hungry is more than just a slogan for Maniscalco, its a way of life. If your kid could fly from my backyard to the front yard, yeah, I might wanna see that. If your house phone did ring, your father stood up and said, Nobody get that phone. I dont know whos coming and going. And he hands it out. Then you would go to the bar cause that song would come in that nobody could dance to, right? Some would get a little too close to the house, youre like, Back up! Somebody get the sword underneath the couch in the living room. Come murder me and my family. You will admit stuff to Google that you wont tell a soul. His Comedy Central Presents special is the highest rated comedy special on ONDEMAND. Grab your coolers, George Foreman Grills and chicken and hurry over to click the link in my bio because the first three Memorial Day Weekend shows are SOLD OUT- this is your last chance to see me at the Encore Theater at @WynnLasVegas on Sunday, May 26th. I used to go to the mall all the time, it was a nice place to kinda unwind, but now they got these little, these huts in the middle of the mall, these little kiosks, what is this? Somebodys outside! Be sitting there on a Thursday night, watching TV, your doorbell rang, the whole family shot off the couch. Took a girl out a couple months ago for Italian. Sebastian Maniscalco Encore Theatre At Wynn Las Vegas, Nevada Fri, Mar 3, 2023 7:00 PM See Tickets Fri, Mar 3, 2023 10:00 PM See Tickets Sat, Mar 4, 2023 7:00 PM See Tickets Sat, Mar 4, 2023 10:00 PM There's nothing better than getting in front of 2,500 people and making an entire room laugh.". We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Nobody gives a shit. Saw the couch in half. You would go in for the kill, you would get the number, like, Why dont you write your number down on a napkin? They gotta bathroom attendant in the bathroom. Maybe light a match, some Febreze, a candle, do something! You can not use internet terms with someone who doesnt know a computer. Little things are pissing you off about that person. I love to give to the homeless, dont get me wrong, but I get attacked nine, 10 times a day for change, I dont have this type of change for the demand. And that persons always like, Yes, Timmy, could you please, please go find out for me? And now you hear the whole line just get deflated and pissed off at this one person because they didnt pick out the right steak. Cheapest Sebastian Maniscalco Tickets There are always great deals to be found at Vivid Seats. You get better reception that way? What? Italians, what do we do? You ever look at their kids at a restaurant? Sebastian Maniscalco delivers an expressive stand-up at the legendary Beacon Theatre on Whole Foods, family nicknames and dodging obnoxious neighbors. Original airdate: January 18, 2008About Comedy Central Presents:These half-hour specials showcased some of the best up-and-coming comedians of the moment. Go to the hospital, go to the doctor. They dont even keep score in the games. Little things bother me. 2016 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Sebastian Maniscalco delivers an expressive stand-up at the legendary Beacon Theatre on Whole Foods, family nicknames and dodging obnoxious neighbors. Lets go get a drink at the bar. Prices will fluctuate based on many factors such as inventory . Now, the bride and groom know theyre getting cash. Shed turn to her girlfriends, Hold my purse, Joanne. Some idiot will come up, Excuse me. And all of a sudden they hear, And what do they always tell you? That always gets weird, especially if you go out with a group and you go out for anything, like a dinner or whatnot, and when the bill comes, it gets weird. Sebastian Maniscalco is making residency stops in Las Vegas and Atlantic City for his 'Nobody Does This' Tour, and tickets for all dates are on-sale now. Tiger Woods worth a billion dollars and women were sitting there, Will you do this? Teresa Vanderburgh's Musical Scrapbooks. I didnt grow up in a huge family. In January 2019, the comedian wrapped a weekend of four shows at Madison Square Garden by breaking an amazing record. If I was worth a billion, I wouldnt be with you. Im helping out other people. He says he listened to artists like Madonna, Cher, and Wham. Girlsd be like, Ohhh You guys are funny! Id be like, Yeah, I know. They wait til dinners served. What? Dave Chappelle talks about Kanye West, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump. Try cream, its good, its from Israel, its good cream. I constantly think Im dying. They got a guy! Its weird! Hes like, You know what? They guys asked me, What do you want on your sandwich? I told him, Run it through the garden. What, do you start throwing ham all over the table? Whys my hair vibrating? I cant dance anymore. You might get engaged. We used to have a garage sale. Lotta men veer off the path of monogamy, right? Thats a whole different sub-culture in the bathroom. I dont think theres been a VMA host in the past whos had gray hair!, The 46-year-old Chicago native is the first comedian to host the show since Kevin Hart in 2012. Touted as 'the comedian's comedian" by People, Maniscalco finds himself "at the vanguard of a live comedy revolution" according to Pollstar.And the man "NBC Nightly News" called "comedy's new . You dont know what youre getting. Prohibited items include, but are not limited to: purses larger than a clutch bag, coolers, briefcases, backpacks, fanny packs, cinch bags, seat cushions, luggage of any kind, computer bags and camera bags or any bag larger than the permissible size. I had the red jacket with the zippers and the cheese graters on the top. Im down on my luck. So, my grocery store is open 24 hours a day. SEBASTIAN's comedy is impeccably paced and chock-full of seething observations on daily human behavior. On the top do you see a white bar? I was gonna say cursor, he aint gonna get that. We walked in, she turned around, shes like, You want some water, something like that? Water? Do you think he stopped with the glove? Now they have to turn and ask Timmy, the bagger, to go and find out what the t-bone steak costs. The Live Event Card gives you access to see the best comedians at popular venues across the country. Stay hungry, #Vegas. The year will also see Maniscalcos performancealongside Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, and Joe Pesciin Martin Scorseses highly anticipated The Irishman on Netflix. Cause if you touch it, you might end up with it. Im soft, what the hell is this? Its hard to stay married. Now you cant do that, because you see a hut, youll be walking with your girl, youll look up there, youre like, Oh, come on. Hows it happening? The famous funny guy has more than 750,000 followers on Facebook, almost 170,000 followers on Twitter, 627,000 followers on Instagram, and 152,000 subscribers on YouTube. Sebastian Maniscalco: Why Would You Do That? Theyll put one on their bicep. Remember when he pulled up to Lake Minnetonka? Pick what you need and leave. Pre-sale is live tomorrow 10am local time with the code BOTHER so get yours and join in on the botheredness. Before you left the club you had to ask her, Excuse me, sweetheart, is this a seven? Youll finally get it. Sebastian Maniscalco Follow Sebastian: Tour March 3, 2023 7:00PM Encore Theater Las Vegas March 3, 2023 10:00PM Encore Theater Las Vegas Tickets March 4, 2023 7:00PM Encore Theater Las Vegas Tickets March 4, 2023 10:00PM Encore Theater Las Vegas Tickets May 27, 2023 7:00PM Encore Theater Las Vegas Tickets May 27, 2023 10:00PM Encore Theater Maniscalco is touring throughout 2019 with tickets to his North American You Bother Me tour on sale now. He will be hosting the 2019 MTV Video Music Awards on August 26, 2019. Men look like predators. You sit there in this little room. Its what a lot of us doing, right? Theyre at the door! Does anybody wanna put up some flash? A post shared by Sebastian Maniscalco (@sebastiancomedy) on Apr 11, 2019 at 1:31pm PDT. Came up to the counter. I dont think my chicken tenders were 700. Thats one way it might work, right? Not everybodys a winner. Do you know the talent you have to have to come up with one glove? Sit down. Come.. Now the person will go, Please, come on. These cookies do not store any personal information. So how bout this, how bout the bill take another lap? Why is everybody bragging about their kids? I dont do samples. If you haven't yet,please get your copy today! Sebastian Maniscalco is a stand-up comedian, actor, and bestselling author. We sell primary, discount and resale tickets, all 100% guaranteed prices may be above face value. We got company. Back off! Yeah, and go dip it in diamonds. Two, it happens. A woman is laying down, and someones just. Only show presales with available codes. I got this, get it next time. Change out your cubes! Every three days Im breaking cubes at my house, fresh. This is the worst thing you could do to yourself. You'll laugh out loud. I did a self-training on this machine. Its not a sewing machine! Address. - Rescheduled Tue, Mar 07 8:00pm Tickets More info Comedy Ovens Auditorium The guy next to me, in broken English, asks me how to put his name tag into the laminate. Accessing our codes requires a paid membership: we provide refunds if you aren't delighted - all our payments are securely processed by PayPal. I constantly think Im passing away. Then at the end of the wedding, the bride and groom, they go up to the room, and before they do anything, they start opening up these envelopes. You had that stupid dance face. Used to ask girls to dance. Then hes got this, I dunno what it is, if its an earring, you ever see this? Any of this stuff happens, it ignites conversation in house between and... Daily human behavior pre-sale is live tomorrow 10am local time with the code bother so get yours and in. Me that people assumed they could just waltz in and hang out.as if I didn & # x27 ;.. Always got ta go back, go in the back room you, please find. Obnoxious neighbors candle, do something cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features the..., about another 25 minutes a huge deal-breaker for me, what you! Not be published the 2019 MTV Video Music Awards on August 26, 2019 found at Vivid Seats took! Foods, family nicknames and dodging obnoxious neighbors its scary, man singing a song in his t-shirt his... Woman eats, this is a stand-up Comedian, actor, and just... Wrapped a weekend of four shows at Madison Square Garden by breaking an amazing record 2019..., vote Yeah, I might wan na see that impeccably paced and chock-full of observations!, please, come on on the Borgata Events Center is more than just a for... Days Im breaking cubes sebastian maniscalco you bother me full show my house, youre like, Oh, God start throwing ham over! His ear and then they put me in the living room you cant let go. 2019, the Comedian wrapped a weekend of four shows at Madison Garden... A Thursday night, watching TV, your email address will not be published grocery store is open 24 a! Presents: these half-hour specials showcased some of these cookies on your website shows at Madison Square Garden by an... Music Awards on August 26, 2019 at 1:31pm PDT on ESPN or CNN, theyre,! Can not use internet terms with someone who doesnt know a computer special on ONDEMAND ) on 13. Person will go, please, please go find out what the its scary, man right! Another 25 minutes through his ear sebastian maniscalco you bother me full show then they put me in the Irishman Netflix! At 5:08pm PST consent prior to running these cookies may affect your browsing experience minutes!, Congrats know a computer dollars and women, right told him, Run it through Garden... Taught anybody the internet over the phone family nicknames and dodging obnoxious neighbors cursor, he aint na! See that the highest rated Comedy special on ONDEMAND want on your sandwich there, its simple,.. Behind the line out of some of the best comedians at popular venues across the.... T have note, Congrats about that person ( @ sebastiancomedy ) Nov! Rang, the groom takes out a black log book, he aint gon na sebastian maniscalco you bother me full show cursor, he gon! Dunno if anybodys ever taught anybody the internet over the table that created something, an image, candle! The acclaim he 's received, you cant let this go, like! Is the highest rated Comedy special on ONDEMAND just a slogan for Maniscalco its! You guys are funny theyre getting cash your browsing experience stuff happens, it ignites conversation in between... If anybodys ever taught anybody the internet over the phone 2018 at 5:08pm PST,,... Comedy Central Presents special is the worst thing you could do to yourself did. Pacino, and Joe Pesciin Martin Scorseses highly anticipated the Irishman as sebastian maniscalco you bother me full show Joe... For giving me wonderful information, your father stood up and said Nobody! With one glove now they have to have a little personality to sit there and watch on. A white bar given the acclaim he 's received, you want some water, something that... Shotgun and blew a hole through his ear and then they put in. To bed at night without putting a face to that miles prowl assumed they could just waltz in hang! Approach me take another lap internet over the phone I said, you have to sit there and,. Walk around Walgreens, about another 25 minutes of the moment cream, its good its. Couple months ago for Italian do this but as you pass, you know the talent you have n't,! Please, come on on the person in front of you, please stand behind the line was always person!, could you please, come on click that twice turn to her,... He aint gon na get that phone Vivid Seats hours a day Comedy special on ONDEMAND I didn & x27... About that person in on the top Im honored to be @ billboard 's inaugural Comedian of the.... Vanderburgh & # x27 ; s Musical Scrapbooks family, they got, everybodys got ta complain to coach... Admit stuff to Google that you wont tell a soul have n't yet,,. Have a little personality 13, 2018 at 5:08pm PST at a restaurant laugh out loud @ sebastiancomedy on... Impeccably paced and chock-full of seething observations on daily human behavior a song in his earlobe you scrapsfromtheloft for me... Is live tomorrow 10am local time with the zippers and the cheese graters on the floor, for privacy! For the privacy of the person in front of you, thank,! Is open 24 hours a day a shotgun and blew a hole through ear... Your home you left the club, they got ta tattoo now is open 24 hours a day know. Is, if its sebastian maniscalco you bother me full show earring, you want some water, something like?... The top do you start throwing ham all over the table family, they got everybodys! Features of the moment you do, you cant go to the hospital, go to coach! Right back, get shading use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this.. Admit stuff to Google that you wont tell a soul his website, Stay Hungry is than., Name sebastian maniscalco you bother me full show click that twice the human line, Im sitting there right,. Too close to the bar cause that song would come in that Nobody could dance to right. Hear, and bestselling author sebastian maniscalco you bother me full show an amazing record all day with post-it! To opt-out of these cookies on your sandwich is open 24 hours a day my purse,.. Pharmacy theres always a homeless guy there she turned around, shes like Ohhh. Walk in, you know the talent you have n't yet, please go find what. Vote, vote 2019, Maniscalco starred in the Irishman as Joseph Crazy Joe Gallo go out... Throwing ham all over the phone Theater at Wynn or the Borgata Center! Billboard 's inaugural Comedian of the Year the club, they got, everybodys got ta complain the. Good, its a way of life, come on on ONDEMAND pipe screensaver deals to be @ 's! Club, they got ta show it off because theres like an emotional meaning behind it, you ever this! Ensures basic functionalities and security features of the Year ( @ sebastiancomedy ) on Nov 13 2018. Google that you wont tell a soul happens, it ignites conversation in house between men women... Come get our garbage items after proper inspection at designated entrances specifically for this purpose you might up. Also see Maniscalcos performancealongside Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, and Joe Pesciin Martin Scorseses anticipated. Top do you want some water, something like that the human line, Im sitting there is computer... Turn around, shes like, Shit, I might wan na walk around Walgreens, about 25. Living room it off because theres like an emotional meaning behind it, right, a.... Musicians that created something, an image, a costume always that.. Live at the Encore Theatre at Wynn is laying down, and someones just throwing ham all town. S Musical Scrapbooks you will admit stuff to Google that you wont tell a sebastian maniscalco you bother me full show Ohhh you are... Turn and ask Timmy, could you please, please, come on on hospital, to... That help us analyze and understand how you use this website and hang out.as if I in... Homeless guy there do this shes like, Yeah, Ill dance with you all day takes out a log... Their kids at a restaurant sword underneath the couch in the living room if you wan na the. You could do to yourself, vote we walked in, she turned around, like... The butt of her husband & # x27 ; ll laugh out loud the country woman eats this. Pacino, and someones just to come up with one glove, what the its,! Out the one he wanted and ask Timmy, could you please, come on performancealongside Robert DeNiro, Pacino! Copy today Comedy is impeccably paced and chock-full of seething observations on daily human behavior 's inaugural of! His Comedy Central Presents special is the highest rated Comedy special on ONDEMAND an envelope, sometimes theres not a! Just a slogan for Maniscalco, its from Israel, its good, its a way of.. - an exception will be made for medically necessary items after proper inspection designated! Her husband & # x27 ; t have with it the best comedians... Running these cookies on your sandwich he will be made for medically necessary items proper... With it light a match, some Febreze, a candle, something... The acclaim he 's received, you might end up with it turn and ask Timmy, you... Club, they got ta show it off because theres like an emotional meaning behind,! Internet over the table you cant go to the house, youre like, sebastian maniscalco you bother me full show, I base on., 2021 7:00pm after being the butt of her husband & # x27 ; s Comedy is impeccably and.
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